2020- New Year Resolutions and Uncertainty

Every single New Year, I have trouble with processing the movement of time. Acknowledging the cyclical nature, of everything. Each year a constant reminder of all of the lost time and achievements left unspent. Or at least that is how it can feel. Especially with the dawning of a New Year, we are aware of how much everyone is doing in order to better themselves. New Year Resolutions are all fair and well, if you know what you are trying to resolve. All I know is I have spent another year, now another decade- and still I feel as if I haven’t achieved anything. I am dead wrong in thinking that. My resolution this year is to allow time to recognise my successes before getting too hung up on my failures.

I suppose I need to recognise the progress I have made, regardless of how far I have yet to go. Honestly I don’t want this to be one of those generic and cliche New Years posts. So this year I’m reclaiming all the energy I’ve wasted on feeling unaccomplished or embarrassed; of how little my strides seem right now. Instead I want to highlight some of my greatest accomplishments of the decade. Things that may seem small, but have real significance to me. I am too quick to forget how far I’ve actually come and I think a lot of people get themselves in the same dilemma. So heres to us focusing on the beautifully built bricks we’ve laid, instead of crying over our unthatched roof.

You may have seen a lot of people doing this as the decade comes to a close, so if you’d rather skip this post I 100% don’t blame you. This is more for me than anyone else. A reminder that I’ve come a long old way and I am still a work in progress. New Year Resolutions can be a great thing, and a source of motivation. However, it is also important to appreciate you have your own path and that change is a scary thing. A thing you will face when you’re good and ready. Lets stop comparing ourselves to those who aim to recreate themselves overnight. Instead lets wish them good luck and keep on dancing to our own tempo.

A few things I’ve achieved this Decade

Achieved 12 GCSE’s and 4 A-levels

Began University, despite feeling like I wasn’t ready

Became a lot more comfortable with my sexuality and other peoples perception of me

Started a blog and created a space that I’m proud to call my own

Published in a Creative Writing University Journal and featured in a real life book

Took strides to improve my mental health and physical wellbeing. Successfully adapting a GF lifestyle following a chronic diagnosis.

Began driving lessons end of 2019- which is a big deal to me, as I have been talking about it for five years now, but have been too scared to actually start

Maintained and nurtured a Relationship, that I am so grateful for.

Began making money (even if a small amount) from doing something that I love- writing.

New Year Resolutions- Activated

I know this was a brief post but I hope if you have been struggling with the dawning of a New Year. Or generally struggled mentally over the festive period, that you take comfort in this post. That there is someone else typing away on their computer, with no idea what tomorrow brings, never mind the next decade. We’re in it together, for real.

Keiran

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